Ladies Problems
by TheFreakWithTheWings
Summary: In all of the excitement of stealing the Death Star's plans for the Alliance, Leia forgot to keep track of which day of the month it was.
A/N: This was inspired by a scene from the first season Agent Carter.

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In all of the excitement of stealing the Death Star's plans for the Alliance, Leia forgot to keep track of which day of the month it was.

The less said about her torture, the better. She was pretty sure that a few days had passed since she had been captured, but she didn't know for certain.

Afterwards, her whole body was sore and exhausted. She knew it was only in her head, a side effect of the drugs, but it still hurt. Curiously, her abdomen was pulsing with pain, in time to her heartbeat.

A vicious jolt of pain wracked through her, and Leia curled in on herself, trying to relieve some of the agony. With a horrified, nearly soundless gasp, Leia realized the source of her physical ache.

Her monthly cycle was eminent, and, judging from how much she _hurt_ , she would start bleeding soon.

Goddess, she was such an idiot for forgetting!

And she was wearing white. The blood would be visible to _everyone_.

She wouldn't even be able to die with dignity.

No, she refused to let them take that from her. They had tortured her and killed her friends, but she would not let them see her be embarrassed by her own biology.

A corner of her mouth quirked up in silent amusement as she remembered something her mother had once told her: the majority of men were deathly afraid of a menstruating woman. It was time to test that claim.

The door to her cell slid open, and the black hulk that was Darth Vader loomed in the hall.

Leia clenched her jaw and forced herself to her feet, doing her best to ignore the pain and soreness.

"Your presence is required on the bridge, Princess," Vader said.

A tight, fake smile spread across her face. "I'm afraid that I'll need to visit the medbay first, and yes it is necessary. It's so difficult to get bloodstains out of white fabric, you see."

Vader stared at the princess in horrified silence.

No, no she could not be implying-

"The droid did not cause you any injuries."

The infuriating smirk on the girl's face widened. "Unfortunately, it is that time of the month, and because I was unlawfully detained I was unable to gather any of my supplies for my," she paused delicately. "Ladies problems."

The stormtroopers behind him shuffled back a few paces. Vader did not blame them.

He well remembered what Padme had been like, on the few occasions that their time together had coincided with one of her periods. She had never been outright angry with him, but there had always been an undercurrent of hostility, especially when her pain meds wore off early. She had also been prone to twisting his words and taking them out of context.

The princess was a tiny ball of democratic, righteous fury on a good day. He had absolutely no desire whatsoever to deal with her now. Actually, he felt a little bad for torturing her earlier, and a bit impressed as well. To be able to resist the mind probe while her hormones were off was quite a feat.

"GX-3845, escort the princess to the medbay. Now," Vader ordered before whirling on his heel and stalking towards the bridge. He was not looking forward to the conversation he was about to have with that pretentious fool Tarkin.

The only person that not working when Vader arrived on the bridge was the Grand Moff, who was staring down at Alderaan. Tarkin turned around and raised his eyebrows when the Sith stalked out of the lift without the princess.

"Well?" he demanded. "Where is she?"

Vader waited a moment before he responded, enjoying the feeling of the other man's rising anger. "The princess is in the medbay."

Tarkin snorted. "Did she break a nail on her way up?"

"No, she was experiencing some… difficulties," Vader explained awkwardly. "Female… difficulties… that only happen at… certain times."

If someone had been able to see under Vader's helmet, they would have noticed that his face was bright red.

Tarkin, on the other hand, turned green. All of the other men present on the bridge cringed in horror.

"That is disgusting and unnatural!" Tarkin spat.

Vader rolled his eyes so hard that he strained them. How in the Force had the man passed a basic biology course?


End file.
